"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

[medimus]

Two friends were out hunting in the woods one morning when one of them just - collapsed. The other rushed over to check on him and found that he wasn't breathing, his eyes were fixed, and he didn't seem to have a pulse.  His friend grabbed his cell phone and saw that he still had pretty weak coverage, so he called 9-1-1.  When the operator answered he shrieked out, "I think my friend is dead! What do I do???"

"Stay calm," the operator told him.  "Stay calm. Now first, let's make sure he's actually dead."

The operator heard silence, then "BLAM!" A moment later he was back on the phone. "OK, now what?"