The Deer Hunt

[medimus]

This is an oldie.  I first remember seeing in on Usenet about 35 years ago...

The Deer Hunt
 1:00 am - Alarm clock rings
 2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed
 2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up
 3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods
 3:15 am - Back home to pick up gun
 3:30 am - Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent
 4:00 am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight
 4:30 am - Set up camp
 6:05 am - Head for the woods
 6:06 am - See eight deer
 6:07 am - Take aim and squeeze the trigger
 6:08 am - CLICK
 8:00 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill
 9:00 am - Head back to camp
12:00 NOON - Fire gun for help--eat wild berries
12:15 pm - Run out of bullets--eight deer come back
12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries
12:45 pm - Rescued
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
 3:00 pm - Arrive back at camp
 3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer
 4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets
 4:01 pm - Load gun--Leave camp again
 5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you
 6:00 pm - Arrive at camp--see deer grazing in camp
 6:01 pm - Load gun
 6:02 pm - Fire gun
 6:03 pm - One dead pick-up
 6:05 pm - Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer
 6:06 pm - Repress desire to shoot hunting partner
 6:07 pm - Fall into fire
 6:10 pm - Change clothes--throw burned ones onto fire
 6:15 pm - Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp
 6:25 pm - Pick-up boils over--hole shot in block
 6:26 pm - Start walking
 6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud
 6:35 pm - Meet bear
 6:36 pm - Take aim
 6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel--plugged with mud
 6:38 pm - Mess pants
 6:39 pm - Climb tree
 9:00 pm - Bear leaves. Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around tree
Midnight - Home at last

[Kenluin]

rofl