Frayed Knot

Everyone => Gnome Humor => Topic started by: medimus on August 09, 2019, 02:29:22 pm

Title: Disipline: Trump vs Putin
Post by: medimus on August 09, 2019, 02:29:22 pm
Yeah, OK, I admit to a clickbait-style topic name.  Sue me... ;)

(updated from the rec.humor.funny archives)

It seems that Trump and Putin arranged a competition to determine whose nation had the bravest troops.  The two leaders arrived, at the designated hour, on a plateau in Finland high above the water.  Each was accompanied by a battalion of crack troops, smartly uniformed.  The leaders shook hands.

Trump went first. He addressed his battalion of Marines:

"Private Jones! Front and center."

Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.

"Private Jones! March to the edge of the cliff."

Private Jones saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.

"Private Jones! Jump!"

Jones just stood there, unmoving.

"Private Jones! I said jump!"

The man's knees started to shake, but he was otherwise motionless.

"Private Jones!  This is your Commander-in-Chief.  I ORDER YOU TO JUMP!!!"  Private Jones wailed out: "I can't!  I have a wife -- and a family!"

The MPs arrived and escorted Jones away for court martial.  Trump backed off in disgrace.  It was now Putin's turn.

"Comrade Dmitrivich! Front and center."

Comrade Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the front of the ranks, facing his commander.

"Comrade Dmitrivich! March to the edge of the cliff."

Dmitrivich saluted and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff.

"Comrade Dmitrivich! Jump!"

Dmitrivich jumped off the cliff.

By some miracle, he is snagged on a branch and he lands on a crag some 50 feet below the top of the cliff.  Dmitrivich is badly injured, but still alive and conscious.  He is carried away on a stretcher.

As Dmitrivich is carried passed Private Jones, Jones cannot resist asking him:

"Dmitrivich! How could you do it?  How could you jump?"

Dmitrivich answered: "I had to!  I have a wife -- and a family!"